The High Places

How I Got to Where I Am Today

2008-10-24T17:48:00.001-07:00

I was thinking today what a great designer God is...
Looking back on my life, it's hard to imagine, but there was a day when my parents were on CAMP-of-the-WOODS staff together without having any notion that one day they'd be married and have 6 kids. Okay, well maybe they liked the notion of each other and then their love grew. I was thinking...they walked these same grounds I'm walking today without ever having known when they looked out across the lake at a tiny island that one day they'd be married (to someone they didn't even know yet) and have a daughter who would grow to love that place and love the Lord and His people there. But it even goes back to both sets of grandparents I guess. It just reminds me of Psalm 139...before I was even a twinkle in their eyes, I was a purpose for His glory...and so it is with all of us.

I look back as well at myself and how many times I have doubted God's promises...that He really is able to do far more than we could ever ask or think (Ephesians 3:20)...oh how what I've really wanted all along was to be used by Him and for Him...and then when it comes into my lap, like Moses, I tell Him I'm not good enough (and really I'm not, but my focus is still in the wrong place). But a key ingredient that is so often missing is "bowing my knees before the Father (3:14)." And what Paul's been talking about all along in the previous 3 chapters is the gospel...so bowing my knee to what Jesus has already done...in saving countless others...in redeeming and reviving me...and then humbly asking Him who is able to do far more...to do it...and to allow me to play a part in it.

I look back at how God had to bend my knees for me. And I wish I had been more willing at times. But I'm thankful for those times and what He revealed to me...because they've made my heart more able to hold compassion. How He had to show me that I had some bad misconceptions that Christians who were truly following Him would never suffer...or rather that in suffering, they wouldn't feel it so hard, or respond like other humans would...That they'd be superhuman. But it was through those times that I learned how much God loved me, and slowly but surely that I really loved Him...and that suffering often later produced the greatest joy in realizing just how far His grace had stooped...and really what it means that only in death is there life.

It's not just that God is in the cosmos...His Son came to earth to redeem the micro. And what a great story that is! He's just as involved in the pixels of the canvas as the entire landscape!

I love sunsets...mostly the vibrant ones...but even the gray, snowy, only faint light sunsets have a story to tell of darkness and light.

"I'm not what I should be, and I'm not what I will be, but thank you Lord, I'm not what I was (ibid)."

After God's Heart...

2008-10-24T17:28:00.000-07:00

I'm learning about David...and I guess just hoping that, in the spirit of David, I will begin to grasp the immensity of what it really means to be a person after God's heart...In 2 Samuel God defines that: "He will do everything I want him to do." I only hope our lives are devoted to that. Is it any wonder the heart is the control center of our lives? And the spiritual heart affects our thoughts, feelings, will, and character...oh that we might think what He thinks, feel what He feels, want what He wants, DO what He would have us, see others with His eyes.

Paul's Last Will and Testament: 2 Timothy

2008-05-20T13:01:00.000-07:00

This past Sunday in church, I was brought back to my college days of study in 2 Timothy, Paul's last recorded letter. I am struck again by the dual simplicity yet complexity of the passage. Here is essentially what Pastor Mark Coleman said:

-2 Timothy is Paul’s last recorded letter. It is essentially a “last will and testament,” as his death is imminent.
-Paul is done with his work. There is to be no more preaching to large crowds, etc. yet he still wants to make sure he does three things while awaiting his death...
1. The first and most important is this: "Preach the gospel!" He is sure to remind Timothy that the gospel must be preached. We are one generation away from the gospel dying out. It is OUR responsibility to pass it on. It would be completely irresponsible for us not to say what it is we live for; not to pass it on to those around us: our children, grandchildren, friends, anyone who will hear. "Before we get into the hammock, we need to make sure we've passed on the gospel! It is always too early to quit...retirement is not our right!"
2. Paul wants to make sure Timothy knows what he is doing. He is passing on the baton - a critical moment in the race. In fact, the most critical. First of all, he realizes life will go on after him (it's not about him anyway) and he must leave Timothy prepared. Someone I know once said that to me..."Joy, make sure you're preparing others around you so if you go, things can go on like they always did." Second, he is able to not only prepare, but to encourage someone else as he himself could selfishly wish he were being encouraged while on the throes awaiting execution...
3. Encourage Timothy. In the face of death, he is encouraging the person after him! This is so profound on a bunch of levels...I was thinking about this today...That really is the job of a leader. Even in the midst of his own personal trials, he saw the bigger picture and wanted to remind Timothy of that...and what is the bigger picture? Back to the gospel!

Oh the things to learn...whenever I feel tired, or timid, it comes back to the gospel..."I know WHOM I have believed (not what as Nate Winters would say)...And I hope many others learn to know and love Him because of the gospel!

Amazing Grace...

2008-04-06T14:19:00.000-07:00

I really love the movie, "Amazing Grace." It got even better the second time around for me. That's been my prayer lately - that I would be overwhelmed by the grace and mercy of God and in turn, that I might be a person of grace and mercy.
One day about six months ago, I was having a very "self-centered" morning and realized it. I decided I wanted to hear Chris Tomlin's, "Amazing Grace (My Chains Are Gone)." So I went onto iTunes and tried to buy it, but for some reason, the computer wouldn't let me. After spending a frustrated half-hour I turned the computer off and probably thought something like, "All I wanted was to hear, 'Amazing Grace,' to get out of this rut, and look where that got me!" But I decided to go downstairs and turn on the radio, and remember thinking, "What if maybe, just maybe, God would let that song be on right now. Sure enough it was..." I definitely think God has a sense of humor. And He definitely wants us to rely fully, on Him. Why do I ever doubt His love? And why, despite my attitude, does He do little things like that?

Thoughts on Being Full - a letter from a friend

2008-03-01T14:10:00.000-08:00

"On one of our hikes in Drakensberg...'As we spent a few hours just reflecting and journaling by the side of a waterfall, I was meditating on those mysterious places in Ephesians where it talks about the "fullness" of God. I was struck by the way the whole river gorge had been slowly carved out by the water. With each passing flood-time, the river can hold more and more water, till what was once a tiny trickle becomes a mighty river. It's like the whole Christian life is about God slowly wearing away our stubborn stony hearts and making them bigger so he can fill them. His goal is to enlarge our hearts so that we can grow in our capacity to feel both joy and sorrow; to both receive and give love, and to hold more and more of God's presence in our lives. In heaven, as Jonathan Edwards says, we will all, like cups, be filled to the brim with joy; but some of our "cups" will have grown larger than others, more able to hold the fullness of joy. Enlarge my heart, O God. Carve me away as this stream chisels this rock - beats it, dissolves it, carries it away. Let me be, not a shallow riverbed, but a worn-away canyon, able to hold both deep mourning and deep rejoicing.' "-Abigail Cooley

On Death - credit to Luis Palau "The High Definition Life"

2008-02-20T22:53:00.000-08:00

I recently read Luis Palau's, "The High Definition Life." It provoked much thought. There were two stories in particular that really rung near to my heart of late...longing for heaven...Here they are:

My friend Joe has a son named Peter. When Peter was seven years old, his family moved. He did not much care for that since it meant leaving behind Mr. Whittle, a trusted family friend. They would now be 2,000 miles apart.
One morning at breakfast the family received a phone call saying Mr. Whittle was dying of cancer. Once Peter heard the news, he rose from the table and ran to his room. Joe thought his son must be really broken up and told the other to, "Leave him alone."
Before the rest of the family finished eating however, Peter returned with a piece of paper - and a request. "Dad, would you send this letter to Mr. Whittle before he dies?"
"All right, Peter, I'll do that for you. But can I read it before you send it?"
"Oh, sure."
Here's what it said:
"Dear Mr. Whittle, I hear you're going to heaven. Isn't that great? Your friend, Peter."

Story number 2:

When Dave (Kraft) was 28, doctors diagnosed him with terminal cancer. His friends prayed but it became obvious the Lord wasn't going to heal him. Finally Dave transferred to a hospital close to his father.
"You know what Luis," his father said. "My son is about to go. I feel so eager he goes to be with the Lord. I can't stand to see my boy suffer so much. I wish you'd pray."
So he prayed first: "Lord would you take David home today? We can't stand to see him suffer."
The next morning Dr. Kraft said, "Last night I went to the hospital and David said, "Dad, come here. Put your arms around me." So I did. He then said, "I want to sit up, Dad...I know I'm going to be with the Lord. I want to thank you because you've been a terrific father. Tell mom I love her. You've both been such a great example. You showed me the way to the Lord, and I want to thank you before I go to be with Him. Dad, I want you to pray with me because I won't see you for a few years and I want to talk with the Lord together with you."
Dr. Kraft choked up but told his son, "Dave, before I pray, I want to tell you something. You lucky guy, you are going to see the Lord before I do. Just think, David - tonight you are going to see Moses, Joseph, David, Paul. You lucky guy. I should have gone before you, but you are getting there before me...David, best of all, you are going to see the Lord Jesus. Promise me one thing. When you see the Lord Jesus, would you tell him your father loves him very much?"
They then prayed together and Dr. Kraft left the room after saying, "Dave, I'll see you in heaven."
David died at 4 that morning.

Those are two beautiful stories to me...

'Dem Bones...

2008-01-17T21:42:00.000-08:00

I remember my mom and dad singing a silly song growing up...'Dem bones, 'dem bones, 'dem dry bones...and I have no idea what it meant or was even about...but Ezekiel has a lot more to say about bones...

I was reading in Ezekiel the other day and feeling down about the world and how dead it can be - spiritually, emotionally, etc. In Ezekiel, God places the prophet in a valley. A valley of dead bones. I can imagine vultures lurking and stench and despair. Particularly in a valley. Perhaps there were so many dead because a battle had taken place. Perhaps it was a funeral pit for the poor or rejected? I wish I knew the context. But God placed the prophet there saying, "Son of Man, can these bones live?" (It's as if He's testing Ezekiel, asking, "Do you believe I can do the impossible?") And God tells him to prophesy that they will. (Almost as if to say, "Even you testifying and believing, even your faith, is a gift from Me). (I don't know, I think that may say something about predestination there...) So Ezekiel prophesies, and the bones begin to crackle and shake, maybe creak...muscles and ligaments start to grow (I think I might have passed out). And God breathes life into them. He acts. And they are made alive. This is the gospel! Our dead, decaying, spiritual, emotional bones are raised from the dead, put back together, and made alive. Literally and figuratively! There is hope for this hurting and dying world!

Do You Love Me More Than These?

2007-12-26T20:10:00.001-08:00

John 21:15 "So when they had finished breakfast, Jesus said to Simon Peter, "Simon, son of John, do you love Me more than these?" He said to Him, "Yes, Lord; You know that I love You." He said to him, "Tend My lambs."

There are a few things that strike me about this verse...well really this passage. First of all, the disciples who had spent so much time with Jesus do not know it is Him, until finally, "that disciple whom Jesus loved said to Peter, 'It is the Lord.'" I wonder if it is because he was closest to the heart of Jesus. He could read the looks on Jesus' face long before the others could...Perhaps He was too far off for them to recognize at a distance, but the disciple Jesus loved recalled the time Jesus had done this before. Jesus' trademark.

But then Peter throws himself into the sea. I'd like to think it was because of his great love for Jesus. That kind of reckless abandon that thinks, "Not even the push of the water can hold me back from Jesus! It's faster for me to swim than to wait for this boat to get in!" (The only strange thing about that is he puts his outer garment on). And so, perhaps it comes as a shock that Jesus would even think to ask Peter if he loves him...but we'll get to that in a sec.

Someone I think highly of once told a group of us about his three kids. His oldest kid - very cute, perhaps the most competitive child ever born, and very stubborn. The middle child - so tenderhearted and selfless - they didn't know where he came from. (Both parents were very stubborn too, or so he said). The youngest - just a baby but seemingly more stubborn than the firstborn. So he proceeded to tell us of all their flaws and imperfections and how the middle child had just recently gotten a pea stuck up his nose. And yet, this dad loved his kids and moved me to choke back tears as he described his son's soccer game. His middle child was running around, letting the other kids catch up sometimes when he felt sorry for them (something the oldest would have despised), sometimes falling down, just running around...but this dad was so proud. He said he wanted to shout, "That's my son," to everyone around him. He was beaming with elation in one of those great parent moments. And then he said, "And that's how God sees us...crazy, imperfect people with peas stuck up our noses, running around like we don't have any idea what's going on...and yet there He is...He knows our flaws...He knew Peter's flaws...and yet He's beaming..."That's my child!" I know he denied me, but I still love him.

And Jesus, knowing all the imperfections of His disciples...their fear that drove them to abandon Him...wants to have breakfast with them. An informal setting. Perhaps to assuage their guilt. Let's just have breakfast...I mean, they'd already seen Him once since He died (chapter 20 verse 19)...He'd said, "Peace be with you then..." I wonder if they understood that He WAS peace. "I am with you...Peace be with you..." But here He is again and this time He wants to have breakfast and talk to Peter about love.

Simon (notice He doesn't say Peter), do you love Me more than these? (I wonder what the context of "these" means?)

Yes, Lord...I just jumped into the water when I saw you...
(I jumped into the water the first time too...and walked on it until I lost sight of You).

Simon, do you love Me?

Yes, Lord...You KNOW I do...

Simon (notice He's pretty up close and personal in using his name), do you love Me?

And Peter, pretty sad, maybe even offended (I probably would be...) says,
"Lord, You know all things; (I know you're God now...that lesson took me awhile), but you know all things...You know I love you."

...and yet, Jesus then tells him how he (Peter) is going to die. But as if to say, "Don't worry, it'll all be alright if you just fix your eyes on Me," He says, "Follow Me!"

And sadly...instead of looking Jesus in the face and doing just that, Peter turns around and sees the disciple Jesus loved...and perhaps jealously asks, "Well what about him?" (If I'm going to die, what about Him?)

His eyes are taken off Jesus yet again...Only this time he's not sinking in water but into the depths of himself.

But Jesus says, "This isn't between you, me, and him...YOU follow ME!"

(It's as though Jesus is not going to stop asking us that question...When we think we've finally got it all together..."Joy, do you love Me? No, not my people, do you love ME?! I know you learned that then, but are your eyes on ME...NOW?!" Like Peter, it grieves me that He has to ask so often.)

1 Peter 5:6-7

2007-12-25T21:55:00.000-08:00

Check this out...
"Therefore humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you at the proper time, casting all your anxiety on Him, because He cares for you." - NASB

God cups us in His hands. "When we are humble God places His hands above us to cover us and beneath us to carry us...Humility hails the presence of God and He cups us in His hands. What better place to be?" - Tim Grissom

Favorite Quote

2007-12-25T21:50:00.000-08:00

"It comes down to this, at least for me. When there is not a beating heart to give to the Lord, you give what shreds you have. When there is not a willing spirit, you give a broken one. When there are no limbs and muscles and strength to exert, when there is only the feeling of death, then you give him a corpse. Then whatever is left after the dying, whatever by God's grace comes back - it is born of Him. And so the dying is a kind of birth, a second chance with a different kind of life. It is the kind of life that is lived after everything else is lost and there is nothing left to lose, which I suppose, is the kind of life we should have been living all along." - Wayne Mack, Facing Forward

Another Non-Typical Evangelism Tool

2007-12-25T20:39:00.000-08:00

Passing Out - An Occurrence in Guatemala

When I came home from Guatemala, I told my friend Laura this story and she said, "Well I wouldn't use that as an evangelism tool, but God works in mysterious ways." Again, all I can say is I had nothing to do with this...

This past summer my college basketball team went on a mission trip to El Salvador and Guatemala. I absolutely loved it. There are so many stories to tell of God's faithfulness and protection - and just stories in general. But I got sick in Guatemala. And I'd like to believe it was because God answered a prayer I had prayed several days earlier in El Salvador while playing in the waves of the Pacific Ocean.
I recall thinking how great those waves were and how easily God could have wiped me out if He wanted to. And then I began to think of how powerful He really was and asked Him to use that power in us while we shared His gospel. I'd like to think that's where it all began...after all the powerful waves did shovel what seemed like a half-ton of sand in my ears. I told a teammate a few days later that there was still sand in my ear. But then I thought nothing more of it.
While in Guatemala I got a fever and slept on the bus while the team did a clinic. We were scheduled to drive a couple hours away to a game but for some strange reason (also known as God's Sovereignty) our coach decided we needed to eat right then and there. There being a Pollo Campero (fast-food chicken). "What about the Wendy's up the road?" someone suggested. "No, let's eat here," she said. So we stopped. I ate some mashed potatoes and was teased for my "mosquito eyes." That's what they look like when I get sick. And then I said, "I think I'm going to pass out," and proceeded to do just that. I was carried to the bus, and my head was placed on the leg of the evangelist of the group. My coach asked if there was a hospital nearby and one of the fast-food workers told her and our bus-driver to follow him on his motorcycle.
I'm told we flew on that bus through the streets of Guatemala - no easy feat when the bus is probably a foot narrower than the alleys it's passing through. We got to the clinic where I received medical attention. God was sovereign in so many ways. My heavy head had caused the evangelist's leg to fall asleep and I think that's why he didn't come into the clinic. Instead, he stayed outside and talked to the motorcyclist from Pollo Campero. With tears in his eyes, Jorge accepted Jesus as his Savior and said, "I've never felt peace like this before." That night, the man who drove a motorcycle for a fast-food chicken restaraunt became our brother.
The next day I saw another doctor who told me I had an ear-infection. I didn't make the connection until several months later when looking at my journal, but perhaps the sand from those powerful waves caused the ear-infection that made me pass out. Only heaven will tell...

The High Places

2007-12-25T19:43:00.000-08:00

Several summers ago, while at Tapawingo, we read the book, "Hinds' Feet On High Places," by Hannah Hurnard. That began an initial love for the book of Habakkuk, particularly 3:17-19:

Though the fig tree should not blossom and there be no fruit on the vines, though the yield of the olive should fail and the fields produce no food, though the flock should be cut off from the fold and there be no cattle in the stalls, yet I will exult in the LORD, I will rejoice in the God of my salvation. The LORD God is my strength, and He has made my feet like hinds' feet, and makes me walk on my high places.

Little did I know then, that those verses would be cemented on my heart in the coming years. At the beginning of a very difficult sophomore year in college, God used my basketball coach to write a card with those verses at the end. At that point it was a nice encouraging card, nothing more. But it wasn't until after this trying period, that I went back and realized God was stamping His fingerprints throughout - He was always undoubtedly near.
Shortly after beginning the year, several deaths, a move, an ailing family member, and pride left me internalizing pain. And in His grace, God had just the lesson for me, coming in the form of a class on the prophets. I had the privilege of learning and experiencing Habakkuk at the same time. Our professor taught us the context of the book and said, "If you learn nothing else, know that the three staples of Israelite well-being during this time were olive oil, livestock, and produce." Habakkuk knew that God was going to allow these to be stripped away and the entire book is him questioning God's intentions. He never does arrive at an answer. But he does come to a conclusion in verses 17-19.
"No matter how bad it gets. Even if all you hold dear, your three staples; even if life itself is stripped away, YET I will exult in the LORD." And this isn't without due cause...He goes on to say, "The Lord God IS my strength," and He has ALREADY proven faithful by guiding my steps and making my feet like the sure feet of a deer."
During this hard time, I recall crying with a friend and coming to a point where I had to make a decision. I said to her, "I don't know why all this is so HARD. But if this is what He wants for me, then I want it, because I love HIM." I know beyond a shadow of a doubt it was His past faithfulness that got me through that time.
But it doesn't stop there! In my weakness, God proved Himself. At Tapawingo that summer, I was asked to speak on suffering. Naturally, Habakkuk was the book of choice. I was going to share a little bit of my testimony at the end, but God knew His word does not return void and that was not needed in this case. Halfway through my talk (which cut it way short), I got to these verses and decided that verse 18 was a good one, "Yet I will exult in the LORD, I will rejoice in the God of my salvation." I was about to start speaking on my testimony but as I read this verse the first time I decided the audience needed to hear it again. And a third time...and at the end of the third time, I began to sob uncontrollably...Oh for them to understand the brevity of this! Oh, for me who was just beginning to understand the brevity of this! My pain came washing over me and I wanted to jump off that little island and sink to the bottom of the lake.
I went to bed at 7:30 or some early hour that night and didn't speak with anyone about the incident hoping that it was just a very bad dream. But at the end of the week, the director gently called me into her office and said, "Joy, I just want you to know that a little girl gave her life to Jesus because of those verses in Habakkuk." God had used me in my brokenness. And He had done so without my testimony - just His powerful word...and at that, with a book that is not typically considered an evangelism tool...more on that later.