How I Got to Where I Am Today

I was thinking today what a great designer God is...
Looking back on my life, it's hard to imagine, but there was a day when my parents were on CAMP-of-the-WOODS staff together without having any notion that one day they'd be married and have 6 kids. Okay, well maybe they liked the notion of each other and then their love grew. I was thinking...they walked these same grounds I'm walking today without ever having known when they looked out across the lake at a tiny island that one day they'd be married (to someone they didn't even know yet) and have a daughter who would grow to love that place and love the Lord and His people there. But it even goes back to both sets of grandparents I guess. It just reminds me of Psalm 139...before I was even a twinkle in their eyes, I was a purpose for His glory...and so it is with all of us.

I look back as well at myself and how many times I have doubted God's promises...that He really is able to do far more than we could ever ask or think (Ephesians 3:20)...oh how what I've really wanted all along was to be used by Him and for Him...and then when it comes into my lap, like Moses, I tell Him I'm not good enough (and really I'm not, but my focus is still in the wrong place). But a key ingredient that is so often missing is "bowing my knees before the Father (3:14)." And what Paul's been talking about all along in the previous 3 chapters is the gospel...so bowing my knee to what Jesus has already done...in saving countless others...in redeeming and reviving me...and then humbly asking Him who is able to do far more...to do it...and to allow me to play a part in it.

I look back at how God had to bend my knees for me. And I wish I had been more willing at times. But I'm thankful for those times and what He revealed to me...because they've made my heart more able to hold compassion. How He had to show me that I had some bad misconceptions that Christians who were truly following Him would never suffer...or rather that in suffering, they wouldn't feel it so hard, or respond like other humans would...That they'd be superhuman. But it was through those times that I learned how much God loved me, and slowly but surely that I really loved Him...and that suffering often later produced the greatest joy in realizing just how far His grace had stooped...and really what it means that only in death is there life.

It's not just that God is in the cosmos...His Son came to earth to redeem the micro. And what a great story that is! He's just as involved in the pixels of the canvas as the entire landscape!

I love sunsets...mostly the vibrant ones...but even the gray, snowy, only faint light sunsets have a story to tell of darkness and light.

"I'm not what I should be, and I'm not what I will be, but thank you Lord, I'm not what I was (ibid)."

After God's Heart...

I'm learning about David...and I guess just hoping that, in the spirit of David, I will begin to grasp the immensity of what it really means to be a person after God's heart...In 2 Samuel God defines that: "He will do everything I want him to do." I only hope our lives are devoted to that. Is it any wonder the heart is the control center of our lives? And the spiritual heart affects our thoughts, feelings, will, and character...oh that we might think what He thinks, feel what He feels, want what He wants, DO what He would have us, see others with His eyes.

Paul's Last Will and Testament: 2 Timothy

This past Sunday in church, I was brought back to my college days of study in 2 Timothy, Paul's last recorded letter. I am struck again by the dual simplicity yet complexity of the passage. Here is essentially what Pastor Mark Coleman said:

-2 Timothy is Paul’s last recorded letter. It is essentially a “last will and testament,” as his death is imminent.
-Paul is done with his work. There is to be no more preaching to large crowds, etc. yet he still wants to make sure he does three things while awaiting his death...
1. The first and most important is this: "Preach the gospel!" He is sure to remind Timothy that the gospel must be preached. We are one generation away from the gospel dying out. It is OUR responsibility to pass it on. It would be completely irresponsible for us not to say what it is we live for; not to pass it on to those around us: our children, grandchildren, friends, anyone who will hear. "Before we get into the hammock, we need to make sure we've passed on the gospel! It is always too early to quit...retirement is not our right!"
2. Paul wants to make sure Timothy knows what he is doing. He is passing on the baton - a critical moment in the race. In fact, the most critical. First of all, he realizes life will go on after him (it's not about him anyway) and he must leave Timothy prepared. Someone I know once said that to me..."Joy, make sure you're preparing others around you so if you go, things can go on like they always did." Second, he is able to not only prepare, but to encourage someone else as he himself could selfishly wish he were being encouraged while on the throes awaiting execution...
3. Encourage Timothy. In the face of death, he is encouraging the person after him! This is so profound on a bunch of levels...I was thinking about this today...That really is the job of a leader. Even in the midst of his own personal trials, he saw the bigger picture and wanted to remind Timothy of that...and what is the bigger picture? Back to the gospel!

Oh the things to learn...whenever I feel tired, or timid, it comes back to the gospel..."I know WHOM I have believed (not what as Nate Winters would say)...And I hope many others learn to know and love Him because of the gospel!

Amazing Grace...

I really love the movie, "Amazing Grace." It got even better the second time around for me. That's been my prayer lately - that I would be overwhelmed by the grace and mercy of God and in turn, that I might be a person of grace and mercy.
One day about six months ago, I was having a very "self-centered" morning and realized it. I decided I wanted to hear Chris Tomlin's, "Amazing Grace (My Chains Are Gone)." So I went onto iTunes and tried to buy it, but for some reason, the computer wouldn't let me. After spending a frustrated half-hour I turned the computer off and probably thought something like, "All I wanted was to hear, 'Amazing Grace,' to get out of this rut, and look where that got me!" But I decided to go downstairs and turn on the radio, and remember thinking, "What if maybe, just maybe, God would let that song be on right now. Sure enough it was..." I definitely think God has a sense of humor. And He definitely wants us to rely fully, on Him. Why do I ever doubt His love? And why, despite my attitude, does He do little things like that?

Thoughts on Being Full - a letter from a friend

"On one of our hikes in Drakensberg...'As we spent a few hours just reflecting and journaling by the side of a waterfall, I was meditating on those mysterious places in Ephesians where it talks about the "fullness" of God. I was struck by the way the whole river gorge had been slowly carved out by the water. With each passing flood-time, the river can hold more and more water, till what was once a tiny trickle becomes a mighty river. It's like the whole Christian life is about God slowly wearing away our stubborn stony hearts and making them bigger so he can fill them. His goal is to enlarge our hearts so that we can grow in our capacity to feel both joy and sorrow; to both receive and give love, and to hold more and more of God's presence in our lives. In heaven, as Jonathan Edwards says, we will all, like cups, be filled to the brim with joy; but some of our "cups" will have grown larger than others, more able to hold the fullness of joy. Enlarge my heart, O God. Carve me away as this stream chisels this rock - beats it, dissolves it, carries it away. Let me be, not a shallow riverbed, but a worn-away canyon, able to hold both deep mourning and deep rejoicing.' "-Abigail Cooley

On Death - credit to Luis Palau "The High Definition Life"

I recently read Luis Palau's, "The High Definition Life." It provoked much thought. There were two stories in particular that really rung near to my heart of late...longing for heaven...Here they are:

My friend Joe has a son named Peter. When Peter was seven years old, his family moved. He did not much care for that since it meant leaving behind Mr. Whittle, a trusted family friend. They would now be 2,000 miles apart.
One morning at breakfast the family received a phone call saying Mr. Whittle was dying of cancer. Once Peter heard the news, he rose from the table and ran to his room. Joe thought his son must be really broken up and told the other to, "Leave him alone."
Before the rest of the family finished eating however, Peter returned with a piece of paper - and a request. "Dad, would you send this letter to Mr. Whittle before he dies?"
"All right, Peter, I'll do that for you. But can I read it before you send it?"
"Oh, sure."
Here's what it said:
"Dear Mr. Whittle, I hear you're going to heaven. Isn't that great? Your friend, Peter."

Story number 2:

When Dave (Kraft) was 28, doctors diagnosed him with terminal cancer. His friends prayed but it became obvious the Lord wasn't going to heal him. Finally Dave transferred to a hospital close to his father.
"You know what Luis," his father said. "My son is about to go. I feel so eager he goes to be with the Lord. I can't stand to see my boy suffer so much. I wish you'd pray."
So he prayed first: "Lord would you take David home today? We can't stand to see him suffer."
The next morning Dr. Kraft said, "Last night I went to the hospital and David said, "Dad, come here. Put your arms around me." So I did. He then said, "I want to sit up, Dad...I know I'm going to be with the Lord. I want to thank you because you've been a terrific father. Tell mom I love her. You've both been such a great example. You showed me the way to the Lord, and I want to thank you before I go to be with Him. Dad, I want you to pray with me because I won't see you for a few years and I want to talk with the Lord together with you."
Dr. Kraft choked up but told his son, "Dave, before I pray, I want to tell you something. You lucky guy, you are going to see the Lord before I do. Just think, David - tonight you are going to see Moses, Joseph, David, Paul. You lucky guy. I should have gone before you, but you are getting there before me...David, best of all, you are going to see the Lord Jesus. Promise me one thing. When you see the Lord Jesus, would you tell him your father loves him very much?"
They then prayed together and Dr. Kraft left the room after saying, "Dave, I'll see you in heaven."
David died at 4 that morning.

Those are two beautiful stories to me...

'Dem Bones...

I remember my mom and dad singing a silly song growing up...'Dem bones, 'dem bones, 'dem dry bones...and I have no idea what it meant or was even about...but Ezekiel has a lot more to say about bones...

I was reading in Ezekiel the other day and feeling down about the world and how dead it can be - spiritually, emotionally, etc. In Ezekiel, God places the prophet in a valley. A valley of dead bones. I can imagine vultures lurking and stench and despair. Particularly in a valley. Perhaps there were so many dead because a battle had taken place. Perhaps it was a funeral pit for the poor or rejected? I wish I knew the context. But God placed the prophet there saying, "Son of Man, can these bones live?" (It's as if He's testing Ezekiel, asking, "Do you believe I can do the impossible?") And God tells him to prophesy that they will. (Almost as if to say, "Even you testifying and believing, even your faith, is a gift from Me). (I don't know, I think that may say something about predestination there...) So Ezekiel prophesies, and the bones begin to crackle and shake, maybe creak...muscles and ligaments start to grow (I think I might have passed out). And God breathes life into them. He acts. And they are made alive. This is the gospel! Our dead, decaying, spiritual, emotional bones are raised from the dead, put back together, and made alive. Literally and figuratively! There is hope for this hurting and dying world!