"Train Up a Child"

"Train up a child in the way he should go, even when he is old he will not depart from it." - Proverbs 22:6  

  

  There is no such thing as "laissez-faire" parenting in the Christian world.  More often than not, a child will follow the faith of his parents (although there are no guarantees).  And more often than not, he will only go as far as they have gone in their faith.  If that faith is based on God plus ____, it should come as no surprise when the next generation displays that same watered down faith.  Last week, my pastor spoke to us and referenced a book called, "Soul Searching."  I am firmly convinced that parents must be prayerfully intentional in "training up their child."  I really don't think that has anything to do with parents dictating career paths etc. or "I want him to be an athlete," when clearly his gifts are in music.  It has so much more to do with the intentionality in his spiritual upbringing.  While there are several different training grounds to consider (the household, the church, the athletic field etc.), I believe one of the most important places for a child to be is in the church.

  Twenty years ago this past Friday, I experienced the first taste of death that "didn't make sense."  Of course I had lost my great-grandpa at the age of six and cried.  I still remember that.  But on this day, at the tender age of eight I can vividly remember my mom picking up the phone and crying.  I remember her explaining to me in the best way a mom trying to understand things for herself can explain to her eight year old daughter, that a twelve year old boy from our church had died.  This was the first boy that I sincerely thought I would marry.  He was handsome.  He had a southern accent.  And he was twelve.  Just a few days earlier he had bounced through the church hallways with all the other boys and now he was gone.  In an instant.  He had collapsed at the base of the school bus.

  I cried.  That's all I know.  But this was the first time I can really remember my faith taking form.  I was not allowed to go in to the funeral - my parents left us kids in the car with our pastor's wife while they went inside.  There was probably some wisdom in that.  But they did let me sit through the church service.  And I can remember the quivering voice of both his parents as they stood up to speak - his mom literally radiating the joy of Jesus amidst tears - his dad wrestling through questions...one of them, "God, I just need to know, did he suffer at all?"  And explaining to us that God reassured him that he didn't.  I remember it vividly - their lives were saying, "It is well with my soul."  Their faith declaring, "We will still walk with God."  They read an article he had written just a short time earlier - "My Creed."  I don't remember exactly what it said, but essentially this boy had spelled out the gospel and declared he believed it was true.  Those thirty to forty-five minutes had a profound impact on my life.  I sensed I was in the presence of something raw but genuine.  I knew that somehow the words we sang back then - "Surely the presence of the Lord is in this place, I can feel His mighty power and His grace, I can feel the brush of angels wings, I see glory on each face. Surely, the Presence of the Lord is in this place" - they were true.  I knew God for myself - but through them, at the age of eight, I knew He was faithful and true.  I experienced an entire church coming together to mourn and in the process came away seeing what godly grief looks like.  Those parents were strong - only in Jesus...but sitting in the chairs at Valley View Chapel, I learned in my heart at a very young age just how big their God, and mine, really was.

  It happened again, four years later when my Grandpa passed away.  Healing began just a few days later when our entire family was in church and his favorite hymn was playing...we all stood in the back and wept silently.

  And while these are instances of deep faith-building, I believe it can happen every Sunday as children (mind you I don't know exactly what age), learn how to sit through a sermon and parents discuss it with them on the ride home.  I believe we sell kids far short.  We think they're not intellectually able to be attentive in church.  We think they should be off having fun with their friends in Sunday School, while we're in big church.  We think they're not attentive enough, but I have SEEN kids listen with longing eyes for more Truth - for more that is counter to what the world is telling them.  We need to teach them to eat meat...and to speak kingdom language from the Word of God.  They will rise and engage to the extent we call them to.

  Now, just a disclaimer - I do not claim my particular stance to be absolute truth.  Training needs to be well-thought out.  Well-planned.  Well executed.  And there may be times when it is not appropriate for children to be part of certain things in a church.  I merely want to point out that it is my personal conviction that churches not become silos...that children learn how to sit under the teaching of their elders, to love the elderly, to care for those younger than themselves.  To sit under the teaching of God's Word with their parents and learn to engage it.  To sit through a prayer meeting - and maybe even to pray out loud for the needs they hear.

  We train for a purpose...to enter into the game...so let's be intentional trainers!